Disintegration

Friday evening, I am sitting at home at 10'O clock. Two reasons - I wanted some solitude and some time for myself, to introspect, to retrospect, and to decide on my future course. The other reason is that I do not want to drink which was inevitable had I stayed at Sriram's place. I had no reason to say "No" to them. My two months resolution to abstain from alcohol got over the next day to valentine's. I celebrated it with wines and champagnes from Europe and how can I not mention one large peg of all time favorite Old Monk. Today I could have drunk once again had I not made my mind to come back home.

Anyway, I cannot avoid or prevent it for long. Anoop is leaving for US and I know I have to drink with him before he leaves. I could have broken my resolution to drink our last few drinks. We had drunk a lot together and had a quality time. Today when he is leaving our group and going to US we cannot avoid gettting together again to celebrate the good time that we had together.

It is a depressing moment that he is leaving our group and we are missing a friend. The best thing about coming to Mumbai and joining HFI is to get friends for life. For almost two years we have been living in different houses but sharing the same affable space. Living our own lives but concerned and cognizant about each other's life. Even the most trivial things had become special with them around. The bitter and sweet memories that we have had, have been rendered for eternity on the walls of my heart. He is leaving us - is something difficult to believe. The group is breaking, it's disintegrating and in the process friends are going away. Everybody wants to go for his new life and when he does, he leaves behind his past, which keeps hovering around the friends left behind. One by one everybody would leave and the group will disappear. I guess this is the last best group that I am seeing and experiencing. In a year or so most of us will be married and once you are married your wife becomes your first priority. The saddest part is that we will be living in different countries across various time zones. I guess within next six months the group would disappear and each of us would assume a new life and new group.

My guess as of today:
Anoop: USA
Sriram: Canada
Sarvesh: Europe -> India
Amol: USA
Praveen: Europe -> USA

Friends far apart but friends for life. Atleast we can go to any continent with confidence and for a reason, which is nothing better than meeting an old friend.

Had a chat with Neha today. She is coming for a week and leaving for Sanghai. I guess this would be her second last week in Mumbai and she will also leave to Bangalore. Though I did not spend much time with her in Mumbai but she was a good friend when I was in Delhi. We had different worlds here in Mumbai and we rarely met and talked. We thought not to disturb each other's life and we were happy that way. Except the past four months when we started talking again. Anyway, once she leaves Mumbai she will also start her life afresh like Anoop. Only the past that she would leave behind will keep hovering around me to realize that she is not there....